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So, You Want to Sink Your Relationships?

The Art and Science of Giving Advice

Season 3, Episode 120

The phrase “you need to” means you are probably offering advice the other person does not want. While exchanges of perspectives and information can be good, too much of a good thing can perpetuate a feeling of defeat. In this podcast we will explore ways to eliminate defeat at home by finding positive alternatives to “you need to.”

So, You Want to Sink Your Relationships?

by Les Carter, Ph. D. | MarriagePath Radio

Something to Think About

In this episode, we recognized that:

  • Unsolicited advice, no matter how well intended, is commonly received as criticism.
  • Your perspectives will be received in direct proportion to your willingness to elicit input from the other person.
  • As your communication is more of a two-way process, you have less of a chance for the build up of defeated emotion.

Let's Talk

“What happens inside your home when advice is given too frequently? What adjustments could you make to create balance in this matter?”


What Do You Think?

Please take a moment and let everyone know your thoughts in the comments section below.


  1. Linda Williams

    Such good ideas!! My pride can get in my way when I’m thinking I have some pretty good ideas. I like the gentle phrase “may I share some thoughts?” Thanks so much Dr. Carter!

    • Les Carter, Ph. D.

      Hey Linda…It’s so unnatural to respond to conflict with humility, but when you see the distinct payoff, it makes humility a worthy goal. Let’s just say none of us has perfected this, but we can encourage each other as we make the effort!


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