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Personality Conflicts

The Controller’s Dirty Little Secret Part 2

Five Problems Feeding The Controller’s Behaviors
Season 3, Episode 140
Once controllers admit their secret struggle with insecurity, they will need to take stock of what lies within their personalities. Chief among their struggles is hidden fear. The fact that they insist others must conform indicates they feel threatened by behavior contrary to their preferences. This trend can change, but it begins with self-awareness and honesty, as this podcast will address.

How to Deal With Manipulators

Six Internal Adjustments To Keep From Being Overwhelmed By Toxic People
Season 3, Episode 137
When you are committed to a friendly, kind demeanor, others may see that as an opportunity to manipulate. In order to prevent ongoing toxicity, you will need to balance your goodness with firmness and boundaries. This will require certain internal adjustments to your surrounding circumstances, which will be identified in this podcast.

The Avoidant Partner

How To Respond When Your Partner Is Evasive
Season 3, Episode 136
Healthy relationships are built upon skills emphasizing connection and affirmation. Sometimes, though, a partner may be reluctant to connect, becoming avoidant. This can be especially common when conflicts arise. When this happens it is reasonable to attempt to connect, but in the event that it doesn’t happen, you will need to be poised to keep your cool. That is what we will address in this podcast.

Surviving A Relationship Disaster

Seven Keys to Turning Strain Into Maturity
Season 3, Episode 133
Any marriage or family can be vulnerable to major problems that could be “game-changers.” When a seminal event happens creating questions about the viability of the relationship, that is a time for deep introspection. Rather than running with a “woe is me” mindset, you can be poised for thoughtfulness as never experienced before.

A Cure For Bitterness

Eight Choices To Keep Bitterness At Bay
Season 3, Episode 132
Bitter people inevitably have a legitimate reason to feel angry, but over time, the anger becomes so toxic it greatly inhibits that person’s quality of life. While no explanation may suffice as you try to make sense of an injustice, you still have choices regarding your long-term emotional disposition. In this podcast we’ll zero in on seven choices that can keep you from the acidic effects of bitterness.

Are You Feeling Annoyed? Yeah, Me Too.

Eight Ways To Keep Annoyances From Running Away With You
Season 3, Episode 129
Annoyance means you are aroused to impatience and anger, often by small matters. Usually annoyances don’t last long, yet they occur many times in one day. Without a plan to contain this emotion, your personal disposition can be soured. In this podcast we will identify eight adjustments you can make as you determine to keep annoyances from taking over your day.

So, You Want to Sink Your Relationships?

The Art and Science of Giving Advice
Season 3, Episode 120
The phrase “you need to” means you are probably offering advice the other person does not want. While exchanges of perspectives and information can be good, too much of a good thing can perpetuate a feeling of defeat. In this podcast we will explore ways to eliminate defeat at home by finding positive alternatives to “you need to.”

What Your Anger Reveals About You

Hidden Messages Pushing Your Frustrations
Season 3, Episode 114
There are various ways to manage your anger, some positive and some negative. In order to manage your anger most constructively you will need to be aware of the inner thoughts and needs feeding it. With insight and honesty about the true nature of your anger styles, you will be poised to make choices consistent with healthy lifestyle practices. That’s what we’ll explore in this podcast.

What to Do If You’re Constantly Misunderstood

Six Ways to Respond to Those Who Misread You
Season 3, Episode 113
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that each person in your world has a keen understanding of you and chooses to respond with appropriateness. Regretfully, though, you probably know someone who seems oblivious to your feelings and needs, no matter how strongly you attempt to coordinate. With such people you will need to exercise caution as you respond, lest you fall into very unhealthy patterns.

Hey, That’s Just The Way I Am

Being Real or Plain Old Stubbornness?

Season 2, Episode 97

Sometimes when people say “that’s just the way I am,” it is a flimsy way of indicating a stubborn refusal to make needed adjustments. Being who you are is great…as long as you are honest with yourself about the motives and repercussions of your behaviors. In this podcast we will examine how stubbornness can hinder relational healthiness.

Can Anger Be Beneficial?

15 Minutes to Constructive Anger

Season 2, Episode 95

Because we tend to think of anger in mostly negative terms, we can overlook the fact that sometimes anger has a legitimate function. It is an emotion of self-preservation and can prompt the individual to stand firmly for valid needs and convictions. That said, it can be easily misused, so it is important for the angry person to pause long enough to discern how to match the legitimate message of anger with a respectful manner of communication.

The Insecurity Behind Controlling People

How Controllers Can Improve Their Relationships

Season 2, Episode 94

While a superficial assumption may lead you to conclude that controllers are self-assured and confident, they are in fact quite insecure. Controllers set themselves up for inner tension by presuming they cannot be satisfied as long as others do not conform. Common sense tells us, though, that high control people have diminishing appeal since their behaviors tend to bring out the worst in relations.

How to Truly Feel Significant

Five Keys for Overcoming Low Self-esteem

Season 2, Episode 92

The way you respond to disagreements goes a long way in demonstrating your emotional maturity. Many people, when faced with conflict, elect to go into an invalidating style of communication. Your task is to recognize this, then to accept the challenge to stay on a course of constructive communication, despite the temptation to respond rudely.

Seeing into the Other’s Anger

Applying Objectivity So You Can Remain Stable

Season 2, Episode 87

When someone is inappropriately angry toward you, it is easy to become pulled into the raw mood of the moment. As a contrast, if you can learn to recognize what is truly pushing that person’s anger along, you can develop objective understanding that prevents you from responding in your own maladaptive reactions.

Necessary Suffering

Five Ways to Turn Pain Into Growth

Season 2, Episode 86

Often when we experience suffering in the emotional or relational realm, we immediately wonder how to make it go away. Yet while suffering is not pleasant, lessons may be gleaned from it. Pain, though uncomfortable, is there for a reason. As you respond to it, you can find wisdom as you tend to the messages inherent in that situation.

Your Inner Peace – or Not

Applying Calm to Potential Storms

Season 2, Episode 74

When strains and tensions arise it is very common for couples to lean into the conflict with agitation and stubbornness. It may feel counter-intuitive, but those are precisely the moments when your calmness is needed most. This episode will explore the traits needed to create peace instead of volatility.

Accepting Differences

Five Ways to Respond to Differences Constructively

Season 2, Episode 67

Differences in close relationships cannot be avoided. When they arise, what is your tendency? You can use the moment to be destructive or you can use it to destroy. In this segment we will examine how to respond to relational differences in ways that can make you a more well-rounded person and can take your relationship to a higher plane.

If “Can’t” Is True

Four Paths Toward Realistic Choosing

Season 2, Episode 64

Unfortunately disappointment and tension is inevitable is close relationships, especially as unwanted circumstances arise. In those moments, some succumb to the word “can’t.” They can assume (falsely) a complete lack of choice in the moment. This episode will explore four ways to reorient your thinking so you will not become emotionally paralyzed by “can’t.”

When Winning Means Losing

Marital Communication Is Not A Competition

Season 2, Episode 61

When you and your partner disagree it can be easy to slip into a win-lose manner of communicating. When this happens, control and stubbornness become central as listening and cooperation fade. In this episode we will explore how efforts to win ultimately lead to relationship loss, and we will then identify healthy alternatives.

Are You Committed To Anger?

You Know Your Anger Is Hurtful, And Yet…

Season 2, Episode 59

Some individuals can treat anger like an old friend who is not good for them, yet they continue to go back to it because of familiarity. This can represent emotional laziness. Rather than quickly returning to maladaptive anger, though, it is possible to choose new patterns, and this episode will challenge you to rethink who you want to be when tensions rise.

Intense Anger

Eight Indicators of Anger Becoming Abusive

Season 2, Episode 56

Some individuals become so intense in their emotions that their behavior becomes abusive. In this episode we will identify eight indicators of verbal abuse, and we will also discuss ways to respond to the abuse so it will not increase.

Am I Living With A Narcissist?

Eight Identifiers of Narcissism

Season 2, Episode 54

This episode identifies eight qualities to watch for as you discern if you are dealing with a narcissist. Once you recognize the narcissistic pattern, you will probably need to determine how to apply firm boundaries, as opposed to getting caught in circular arguments you will never win.

Safe People

Building Secure Relationships

Season 1, Episode 49

You want your home to be the place where you can relax, unwind, and be fully you, right? Unfortunately some relationships generate enough strain and tension that it does not leave you feeling safe in your own home. In this episode we will compare and contrast what it means to create unsafe versus safe ingredients in your primary relationships.

The Passive Aggressive

What Happens When Anger Becomes Conniving

Season 1, Episode 39

This podcast will help you identify when others are dragging you down with passive aggressive tactics, focusing on how you can respond in ways that will keep you from feeling trapped by its manipulations.

Criticism

How to Ruin a Relationship

Season 1, Episode 32

When you communicate consistently with a critical attitude, it tells more about who you are than who you are criticizing. This podcast will challenge you to be honest about your own inner tensions that are revealed by your propensity to find fault in others.

Defined By Fear

How Fear Shows up in Your Responses

Season 1, Episode 22

While we might be tempted to identify fear with deep dread or apprehension, it can show itself in many nuanced ways. We’ll take a look at how we can come to terms with these responses.

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