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Healthy Relations

I Agree, We Should Be Agreeable

Seven Indicators Of An Uplifting Relating Style
Season 3, Episode 135
Variety is built into all creation, meaning our relationships are defined by differentness and uniqueness. Even so, we can still choose to be agreeable as we encounter those differences. Agreeable people are able to set aside a competitive spirit, realizing that we are all on the same team. Goodness and affirmation become first priority. In this podcast we will look at the ways you can put this vital trait into play.

Value People and Use Things Not The Reverse

Becoming Less Susceptible to Materialism
Season 3, Episode 128
It’s one thing to have conflicts about spending money, but at a deeper level, some families are at odds about the meaning of Things. Materialism can prompt persons to become so preoccupied with stuff and with image that they lose sight of relational and spiritual pursuits. In this podcast we will identify the nature of materialism and focus on six ways to keep it from taking over your life.

When To Appease, When Not To Appease

Keeping Fairness In Balance
Season 3, Episode 126
Inevitably appeasement is the go to behavior associated with unhealthy people pleasing, and that is not a good thing. Yet, appeasement is not always wrong and it can be a necessary ingredient in a relationship that addresses unique needs and preferences. In this podcast we will distinguish healthy and unhealthy appeasement.

Does Your Relationship Have a Balance Statement?

Eight Keys to Bring Harmony from Difference
Season 3, Episode 122
Often when couples display differences they insist that the other should conform, when harmonizing would be the better alternative. Since it is illogical to insist that two people should think and emote exactly the same, this podcast will focus on ways to create harmony in the midst of differences.

Meekness Is Wisdom In Action

Seven Ways To Apply Strength Under Control
Season 3, Episode 119
What would you think if I suggested that meekness can be a beginning point for power and influence (of a good nature)? Meekness is best described as strength under control, or better yet, it is wisdom in action. Meek people pursue personal goals within the context of goodness and they seek to build community. In this podcast we will identify seven essential ways to put meekness into wise action.

The Cost Of Accepting Others

Eight Ways To Lay Down Ego Driven Thinking
Season 3, Episode 117
Being an accepting person comes with a cost, beginning with the laying down of your ego. Accepting people sidestep the need to impose their own correctness in favor of displaying respect, even when it cuts against their emotional grain. In this episode we will discuss how you can gain influence via the path of self restraint.

Eight Truths You Can Use to Calm the Storm

How to Successfully Navigate Relationship Imperfections
Season 3, Episode 116
As you live with someone for years, flaws and imperfections will repeatedly be displayed. When that happens, it is tempting to focus on making the other person change, but sometimes that effort repeatedly falls flat. That can be a signal that it is time to examine how you can stay steady inwardly even as your externals are not perfect.

Who Defines You, Especially When You’re Ticked Off?

Staying Inside Your Emotional Boundaries
Season 3, Episode 112
When our emotions and communications become problematic, it is almost always connected to blurred relationship boundaries. We can be so consumed by having harmony that we behave in troublesome ways when it is not happening. In this podcast we will identify cues indicating blurred boundaries, then we will look at the better alternatives.

Five Reasons To Tackle Differences With Restrain

Why Exaggerated Reactions Perpetuate Conflict

Season 3, Episode 111

When tensions and conflicts arise many people have a tendency to communicate with forcefulness or stubbornness leading the way. Common sense says that there are a variety of ways to look at any issue, so it would be wise to stay away from exaggerated attitudes in favor of modesty. This podcast will explore reasons to communicate in a more modest fashion.

Do You Have a Nitpicking Problem?

Reducing Your Need to Control in Four Easy Steps

Season 3, Episode 110

Nitpickers have a tendency to over-focus on common, minor details to the extent that they perpetuate chronic tension. To minimize nitpicking, the need to be right needs to be exchanged for traits like acceptance, love, and tolerance. And if you are on the receiving end of nitpicking, you’ll need to cling to your inner confidence and calmness.

An Inconvenient Truth About Change

Staying On Path Even When Others Won’t Cooperate

Season 3, Episode 109

When you are committed to being fair in your primary relationships, it’s only natural to want the other person to share an equal commitment. Unfortunately, many people will not have the same eagerness for personal growth. In those moments you are faced with the question: Who do I need to be even if my efforts are not reciprocated?

Do You Want To Be Judgmental Or Accepting?

8 Ways to Create an Accepting Attitude

Season 3, Episode 108

Most people like to think of themselves as accepting…until they’re not. At times, opinions and preferences can become so strong that we offer rejection and judgment instead. Being accepting does not require you to cease having opinions and preferences, but it does require wisdom and discernment as you respond to the differences presented by others.

Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right

12 Traits Indicating Relationship Healthiness

Season 3, Episode 107

Most people ending a marriage will state that they saw signs prior to marriage suggesting the relationship was not all it needed to be. In this podcast we will identify twelve qualities that need to be in place so you can move forward in a budding relationship with confidence. By knowing what to look for, your decision to commit to a long term relationship will be built upon more than just raw emotionalism.

Kindness Plus Firmness Equals Balance

10 Ways to Sidestep Unnecessary People Pleasing

Season 3, Episode 106

Commonly when individuals live in a very pleasing manner, they have too much of a good thing. The commitment to kindness can become a burden when it is not also balanced by firmness. In this episode we will examine ten ways to make sure your pleasing qualities are accompanied by firmness.

Escaping Bad Moods

Seven Steps To An Upbeat Way Of Relating

Season 3, Episode 105

Some individuals have such a deep history of looking at the negative side of life that they develop a reputation of chronic moodiness. This is a learned pattern, which means it can be unlearned and reversed. In this episode we will examine ways to reverse this tendency so a more upbeat approach toward life can emerge.

How’s Your Sense of Humor?

How to Make Your Relationships Run More Smoothly

Season 2, Episode 102

When laughter is absent from a home, it is usually a sign of trouble. Conversely, when family members can enjoy funny stories or events, many good things can result. Humor has a way of creating bonding and it also diminishes our tendencies toward stress, anger, and tension. In this podcast we will explore the good that can come from this trait.

Broken Hands Loving Heart

Responding to Unfairness With Loving Resolution

Season 2, Episode 99

Few people like to think of themselves as broken, but the longer you live, you will be susceptible to unwanted difficulties. Your challenge is to take your broken moments as a sort of laboratory experience, using them to produce good from your strains. In this podcast we will gain inspiration from a pianist who did just that, and we will discuss turning sorrow into strength.

We’re out of Love – Now What?

When Feeling Gives Way to Choice

Season 2, Episode 98

When some people use the phrase “We’ve fallen out of love,” it can be the direct result of very serious problems like an affair, abuse, or gross irresponsibility. At other times, though, when that phrase is used it can really mean, “We’ve grown apart,” and that is something that can be addressed. When chemistry and high feelings fade, you can still choose love as a way of life, not as a duty but as an intentional mindset.

The Anti-Growth Trait

How Denial Hinders Maturation

Season 2, Episode 90

There is no denying that denial is a major problem in marital communication. Denial is a defense mechanism indicating fear and insecurity. It leaves others feeling invalidated and dismissed, and the net result is stagnation in personal growth. To eliminate denial, begin with the realization that there is much that could be gained by receiving input. Listening (as opposed to invalidating) can help you grow.

Cussing and Profanity

Like Sticks and Stones, Words Can Actually Harm You

Season 2, Episode 88

Each of us is exposed to cursing, and you may be one of those who frequently communicates with crass words leading the way. Rather than seeing swear words as harmless, it can be challenging to look more fully into the habit of cursing to determine what you are attempting to accomplish via word choice.

Doing Versus Being

When External Changes Don’t Satisfy

Season 2, Episode 85

Often when tensions arise, the prevailing question can be: “What am I supposed to do?” While this is not necessarily a bad question, a more penetrating thought might be: “Who can I be in this moment?” In this podcast we will focus on the ways your “being” can carry you when “doing” doesn’t seem to solve the problem.

Core Values

10 Ways to Keep Meaning in Your Marriage

Season 2, Episode 84

When you are involved in a relationship as significant as marriage, you will need a clear focus on who you (plural) are and where you are going. In this podcast we specify 10 core values that are of utmost importance as you work together to keep marriage meaningful.

Opposite Gender Friendships

10 Ways to Maintain Good Boundaries

Season 2, Episode 82

Having connections with people of the opposite gender is both inevitable and normal. That stated, it is good to know how to manage yourself in those relationships so they will not cross the line into an inappropriate bond. In this podcast we will identify ten ways to establish and maintain healthy boundaries so your marriage will be honored even as you interact with people of the opposite sex.

Who Sets Your Pace?

You Get to Establish The Person You Want to Be

Season 2, Episode 76

Many people allow events and circumstances to bring out qualities that run counter to what they want to be. This implies that others are setting their pace for them. In this podcast we will look at the alternative of you establishing who you want to be even when it means not going along with the prevailing mood.

The Slow Approach Is The Fast Approach

Giving Priority to Patience

Season 2, Episode 75

When individuals act impatiently they are so intent on pushing events to the finish line that they actually make the task all the more difficult. Living with balanced patience might feel like you are taking a slower path, yet the results can be much more satisfactory and timely. In this episode we will discuss the ingredients that go into the making of a patient manner of relating.

The Most Important Ingredient for Managing Anger

How Self-Focus Can Help Keep Anger Constructive

Season 2, Episode 71

When strains are openly addressed within marriage, it is far too common to focus on what the other person should do in order to make things right. The alternative is to have a clear self-focus anchored in wisdom and discernment. As you plan who you want to be despite unfriendly responses, you can become a model worthy of following.

Dignity and Contentment

How Two Traits Can Guide Your Priorities

Season 2, Episode 63

One of the great minds of the 20th century was that of Alexander Solzhenitsyn. While he is most known for political commentary, his philosophies are amazingly relevant for the home life too. In this episode we will identify 10 life lessons that are a direct spin-off from his core beliefs about dignity and the life of true contentment.

Core Trust

Reading Cues That Indicate The Depth of Marital Trust

Season 2, Episode 62

Marital partners may say they trust each other, yet their communication can consist of chronic bickering, or perhaps there is little personal disclosure, or maybe they struggle to find points of agreement. For trust to be trust, it has to be demonstrated in real life situations. In this episode, we will examine ways that show if trust truly is (or is not) an integral ingredient in the marriage.

Am I Living With A Narcissist?

Eight Identifiers of Narcissism

Season 2, Episode 54

This episode identifies eight qualities to watch for as you discern if you are dealing with a narcissist. Once you recognize the narcissistic pattern, you will probably need to determine how to apply firm boundaries, as opposed to getting caught in circular arguments you will never win.

Safe People

Building Secure Relationships

Season 1, Episode 49

You want your home to be the place where you can relax, unwind, and be fully you, right? Unfortunately some relationships generate enough strain and tension that it does not leave you feeling safe in your own home. In this episode we will compare and contrast what it means to create unsafe versus safe ingredients in your primary relationships.

Use of Alcohol

Keeping Balance In Your Habits

Season 1, Episode 48

In this episode we will discuss the potential pitfalls of imbalanced alcohol use, focusing on helpful suggestions that will assist you in keeping alcohol from being a negative contributor to your primary relationships.

You Just Don’t Get It

How To Respond When The Other Person Cannot Understand You

Season 1, Episode 46

When you commit to a long-term relationship, you probably have some level of expectation that you will experience a reasonable synergy. Unfortunately, some individuals find themselves in close relations where that synergy will never materialize, leaving them with the question: “Now what?” This episode will help you explore your options when faced with a relationship that may never live up to reasonable expectations.

I’m Right You’re Wrong

Moving Beyond Black and White Reasoning

Season 1, Episode 45

In a high percentage of conflicts, the exchanges devolve into an argument about who is most correct. What might happen if we agreed to be less concerned with absolute correctness and more concerned with establishing a fair-minded exchange of give and take?

A Lifetime of Maturing

Viewing Growth As A Never Ending Process

Season 1, Episode 44

In this podcast, four distinct life stages will be identified and you will be challenged to consider where you are in your own maturation process.

Trustworthy People

Being a Person Who Builds Loyalty

Season 1, Episode 43

Relationships will quickly collapse when trust is lacking. Trust is the precursor for skills like conflict resolution, building security, being an encourager, and instilling motivation. This podcast will highlight 12 key ingredients that go into the making of a trustworthy person.

Keeping Secrets

Choosing Openness over Deception

Season 1, Episode 42

Healthy relating consists of keeping no secrets of a moral or ethical matter, and by having the fullest accountability that common sense allows. In other words, being known is essential to being securely connected.

Scolding – What’s Wrong With You?

Shame Based Communication

Season 1, Episode 40

Too commonly family members can resort to a scolding form of expression as they attempt to express needs and preferences. Virtually never is the result positive, yet it can become habitual.

The Up Side of Agony

How Emotional Pain Can Become Your Friend

Season 1, Episode 38

In this podcast we will explore how struggles with deep agony can become the catalyst for personal growth that may never have happened without the problematic circumstances. Agony can hurt, but pain is sometimes the best way to reach maturity.

Kindness Matters

How Simple Kindness Has a Profound Impact

Season 1, Episode 37

A central ingredient in loving relationships is kindness. The absence of kindness can allow anger or insecurity to fester, but the presence of kindness can become the foundation for security and clean communication. You don’t want to miss this episode.

Goodness

Bringing Richness into Your Character

Season 1, Episode 36

What does it mean to be a good person? We often refer to goodness as it relates to performances. This podcast goes beyond the performance focus as it encourages you to examine goodness as a measure of integrity.

Sexual Relating

What Gets Communicated by Your Sexual Patterns

Season 1, Episode 35

This podcast will go beyond the how-to approach by discussing your underlying beliefs about the meaning of sex. marital harmony at its peak, couples need a mutually determined game plan for managing sexual expressions. This podcast will go beyond the how-to approach by discussing your underlying beliefs about the meaning of sex.

Appeasers

People Pleasing Isn’t Always Pleasing

Season 1, Episode 34

This form of communication is driven by fear, and ultimately it is dishonest. In this podcast we’ll discuss clean alternatives to a more honest, firm approach toward problem solving.

Covert Messages

The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

Season 1, Episode 30

In every relationship exchange are two levels of communication, overt (the spoken word) and covert (the unspoken message). Guess which is more powerful? To become an effective communicator, your covert messages will need to match your overt messages.

Being Likable

Increasing Your Influence by Being Approachable

Season 1, Episode 28

You can be knowledgable on a wide range of topics. But if others don’t like you, who cares? Before any communication can be successful, others need to feel that you are an approachable person, that you truly care.

You Are Free

Life Outside the Confines of Control

Season 1, Episode 27

When you begin every exchange with an understanding that each person in the equation is genuinely free, the dynamics of the relationship change dramatically.

Not Saying I’m Sorry

How Not to Deny Flaws Others Clearly See

Season 1, Episode 26

This podcast will examine some of the behind-the-scenes tension that inhibits individuals from admitting wrongs, exploring also how this tendency can be remedied.

Refusing to Change

Stubbornness Leading to Interpersonal Ruin

Season 1, Episode 25

Some individuals pride themselves (in a good way) for their willingness to receive input, making adjustments that will benefit those they relate with. Those same people can feel baffled when they encounter others who absolutely will not budge or make necessary adjustments.

Imperative Communication

The Illusion Of Being In Control

Season 1, Episode 24

One of the most common problems in marriage and family discussions is the tendency to approach differences with an unbending agenda. This leads to what might be called imperative communication.

Being Critical

Recognizing Relationship Poison

Season 1, Episode 23

While we might be tempted to identify fear with deep dread or apprehension, it can show itself in many nuanced ways.

Cornering Questions

Why Accusing Queries Don’t Work

Season 1, Episode 21

Confrontations are part of any ongoing close relationship. It can actually be good to air out differences as a means of keeping a clean slate. Some people, however, confront by asking questions that accuse, shame, or embarrass the recipient.

What Happens to Suppressed Anger

The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

Season 1, Episode 20

In every relationship exchange are two levels of communication, overt (the spoken word) and covert (the unspoken message). Guess which is more powerful? In this episode you’ll learn to balance your messaging.

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