Five Problems Feeding The Controller’s Behaviors
Season 3, Episode 140
Once controllers admit their secret struggle with insecurity, they will need to take stock of what lies within their personalities. Chief among their struggles is hidden fear. The fact that they insist others must conform indicates they feel threatened by behavior contrary to their preferences. This trend can change, but it begins with self-awareness and honesty, as this podcast will address.
Eight Ways to Respond to a Controller’s Insecurities
Season 3, Episode 139
When a person acts consistently controlling, behind the scenes is a deep insecurity driven by fear and apprehension. Yet these people often operate with such a low level of self awareness that they cannot admit this obvious truth. Your task, as one who relates with the controller, is to keep your composure, not allowing the other to set your emotional pace.
Standing In Self-Respect Even When You Don’t Receive A Good Response
Season 3, Episode 138
Assertiveness is defined as standing for your your worth, needs, and convictions while also showing regard for others. Unfortunately, when you are clean in your communication, some will still respond poorly. At that point, it becomes your task to stay on point, as opposed to letting the other person hijack your good intentions. And that is what we will address in this podcast.
Seven Keys to Turning Strain Into Maturity
Season 3, Episode 133
Any marriage or family can be vulnerable to major problems that could be “game-changers.” When a seminal event happens creating questions about the viability of the relationship, that is a time for deep introspection. Rather than running with a “woe is me” mindset, you can be poised for thoughtfulness as never experienced before.
Seven Simple Steps to Transformative Communication
Season 3, Episode 125
While most people understand that humility can be a good ingredient in the midst of conflicts, when tense moments occur, pride can take over. To have effective communication, your mindset needs to reflect an understanding of the others in your presence. In this podcast we will identify seven transformative truths that will guide you toward healthy conflict resolution.
Eight Essentials For Calm Firmness
Season 3, Episode 121
While we tend to think of angry people being rude and caustic, it is possible for angry people to maintain calmness in the midst of that emotion. Calm, firm individuals are seeking respect, and they choose to make their presentation of anger consistent with respect. This podcast will examine that even when you cannot make others act properly in moments of anger, you can still be emotionally steady within yourself.
The Art and Science of Giving Advice
Season 3, Episode 120
The phrase “you need to” means you are probably offering advice the other person does not want. While exchanges of perspectives and information can be good, too much of a good thing can perpetuate a feeling of defeat. In this podcast we will explore ways to eliminate defeat at home by finding positive alternatives to “you need to.”
12 Ways To Keep Disagreements From Being Fights
Season 3, Episode 118
While many people assume that disagreements and fights go hand in hand, it does not have to be that way. Disagreements are a part of any long-term relationship, so it is necessary to have solid rules of engagement to keep tensions in check. This podcast will identify 12 essential ideas that will keep arguments from turning ugly.
Eight Ways To Lay Down Ego Driven Thinking
Season 3, Episode 117
Being an accepting person comes with a cost, beginning with the laying down of your ego. Accepting people sidestep the need to impose their own correctness in favor of displaying respect, even when it cuts against their emotional grain. In this episode we will discuss how you can gain influence via the path of self restraint.
How to Successfully Navigate Relationship Imperfections
Season 3, Episode 116
As you live with someone for years, flaws and imperfections will repeatedly be displayed. When that happens, it is tempting to focus on making the other person change, but sometimes that effort repeatedly falls flat. That can be a signal that it is time to examine how you can stay steady inwardly even as your externals are not perfect.
10 Traits That Will Transform Your Anger Style
Season 3, Episode 115
It’s not enough to say you want to be less angry. That’s a good starting point, but you’ll need to have an idea of the positive qualities you are moving toward. In this segment, we will identify 10 elements inside anger that tend to sidetrack you, and we will then identify 10 alternative traits that will move you into a much healthier manner of anger management.
Six Ways to Respond to Those Who Misread You
Season 3, Episode 113
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that each person in your world has a keen understanding of you and chooses to respond with appropriateness. Regretfully, though, you probably know someone who seems oblivious to your feelings and needs, no matter how strongly you attempt to coordinate. With such people you will need to exercise caution as you respond, lest you fall into very unhealthy patterns.
Staying Inside Your Emotional Boundaries
Season 3, Episode 112
When our emotions and communications become problematic, it is almost always connected to blurred relationship boundaries. We can be so consumed by having harmony that we behave in troublesome ways when it is not happening. In this podcast we will identify cues indicating blurred boundaries, then we will look at the better alternatives.
10 Ways to Sidestep Unnecessary People Pleasing
Season 3, Episode 106
Commonly when individuals live in a very pleasing manner, they have too much of a good thing. The commitment to kindness can become a burden when it is not also balanced by firmness. In this episode we will examine ten ways to make sure your pleasing qualities are accompanied by firmness.
Six Ways to Remove Hostility From Disagreements
Season 2, Episode 104
When you confront or express a frustration, there is a high potential for the other person to reverse the course of words right back onto you. That’s called boomerang communication. Words and emotions are invalidated and tension explodes on the scene. In this podcast we will discuss how to keep that form of communication from escalating.
Becoming Offensive For No Good Reason
Season 2, Episode 101
Quite commonly your comments or questions can be met with an agitated response even when there is no good reason for the agitation. Sometimes individuals just assume a hostile stance in communication, and this can create immediate problems. In this segment, we will examine ways to keep hostility from popping out, especially when there are cleaner ways to interact.
Staying Clear From Silent Contempt
Season 2, Episode 96
Too commonly people manage tensions by going into a deep form of withdrawal that indicates punishment and contempt. While there are actually times when withdrawal can be a necessary tactic, it need not be accompanied by a message of rejection. In this episode we will examine how to find seek time for individual reflection even as relationship issues are in play.
Five Keys for Overcoming Low Self-esteem
Season 2, Episode 92
The way you respond to disagreements goes a long way in demonstrating your emotional maturity. Many people, when faced with conflict, elect to go into an invalidating style of communication. Your task is to recognize this, then to accept the challenge to stay on a course of constructive communication, despite the temptation to respond rudely.
The Hidden Ingredient in Relationship Strains
Season 2, Episode 91
More than just an emotion of physical isolation, loneliness represents the sensation of feeling disconnected and misunderstood. When you are agitated, when conflicts are adversarial, when you struggle with sexual issues, loneliness is in the root system. By learning to respond cleanly to the sensation of disconnection, you will be able to move forward toward relationship healthiness.
How Denial Hinders Maturation
Season 2, Episode 90
There is no denying that denial is a major problem in marital communication. Denial is a defense mechanism indicating fear and insecurity. It leaves others feeling invalidated and dismissed, and the net result is stagnation in personal growth. To eliminate denial, begin with the realization that there is much that could be gained by receiving input. Listening (as opposed to invalidating) can help you grow.
Responding to Confrontations With Inner Calm
Season 2, Episode 89
In every close relationship there is the potential for being misunderstood, dismissed, or scolded. When those moments occur, it is common to respond with defensiveness or anger. As an alternative, though, you could learn to adjust your thoughts in a manner that would allow self-directed trust to guide your responses. In this episode we will explore how inner trust leads to calm reactions.
Applying Objectivity So You Can Remain Stable
Season 2, Episode 87
When someone is inappropriately angry toward you, it is easy to become pulled into the raw mood of the moment. As a contrast, if you can learn to recognize what is truly pushing that person’s anger along, you can develop objective understanding that prevents you from responding in your own maladaptive reactions.
Five Ways to Respond to Differences Constructively
Season 2, Episode 67
Differences in close relationships cannot be avoided. When they arise, what is your tendency? You can use the moment to be destructive or you can use it to destroy. In this segment we will examine how to respond to relational differences in ways that can make you a more well-rounded person and can take your relationship to a higher plane.
Five Tools to Keep Conflicts From Blowing Up
Season 2, Episode 65
When conflicts arise, communication can be laced with strong emotion which can then lead to badgering (griping, accusing, bossiness, repetitions, insistence, etc). Your task is to recognize the futility of badgering so you don’t make a bad situation worse. This episode will explain five key ideas that will set you up to be a calming presence in a potentially volatile situation.
Four Paths Toward Realistic Choosing
Season 2, Episode 64
Unfortunately disappointment and tension is inevitable is close relationships, especially as unwanted circumstances arise. In those moments, some succumb to the word “can’t.” They can assume (falsely) a complete lack of choice in the moment. This episode will explore four ways to reorient your thinking so you will not become emotionally paralyzed by “can’t.”
Reading Cues That Indicate The Depth of Marital Trust
Season 2, Episode 62
Marital partners may say they trust each other, yet their communication can consist of chronic bickering, or perhaps there is little personal disclosure, or maybe they struggle to find points of agreement. For trust to be trust, it has to be demonstrated in real life situations. In this episode, we will examine ways that show if trust truly is (or is not) an integral ingredient in the marriage.
Unleashing the Power of Gentleness
Season 2, Episode 60
When we think of a person who is overwhelming or domineering, it is common to interpret that person as very strong. Yet simple logic tells us that one who belittles and demeans is anything but strong. Real strength is measured by traits anchored in gentleness. In this episode you will be challenged to prioritize traits like respect, humility, and patience as you seek to become a person of influence.
Becoming Proactive in Response to Frustrations
Season 2, Episode 57
In this segment, we will identify five basic choices you have as you experience anger. Knowing your options (both healthy and unhealthy), you can become more effective in keeping anger within reasonable boundaries.
10 Ways to Stunt Personal Growth
Season 1, Episode 50
Unfortunately some people respond to tensions with a Victim’s Mentality, meaning they stay stuck in troublesome patterns. This episode will expose 10 ways Victim’s thwart personal growth, and you will be challenged to develop the mind of The Overcomer.
Moving Beyond Black and White Reasoning
Season 1, Episode 45
In a high percentage of conflicts, the exchanges devolve into an argument about who is most correct. What might happen if we agreed to be less concerned with absolute correctness and more concerned with establishing a fair-minded exchange of give and take?
Why Being Right Might Not Always Be Right
Season 1, Episode 41
When family members disagree, they can readily resort to arguments about the correct way to manage the problem. In this podcast you will be challenged to recognize that while it is nice to be right, it is even better to be wise.
Shame Based Communication
Season 1, Episode 40
Too commonly family members can resort to a scolding form of expression as they attempt to express needs and preferences. Virtually never is the result positive, yet it can become habitual.
Developing a Plan for Managing Conflict
Season 1, Episode 33
What strategies do you employ when you confront? Most individuals will respond to such a question with: “I haven’t really thought much about that.” That is exactly why so many confrontations end in ruin. In this podcast you will be guided through principles that will lead to purposeful confrontations.
How to Ruin a Relationship
Season 1, Episode 32
When you communicate consistently with a critical attitude, it tells more about who you are than who you are criticizing. This podcast will challenge you to be honest about your own inner tensions that are revealed by your propensity to find fault in others.
Subtle Ways We Set up Others’ Responses
Season 1, Episode 29
Pessimistic communication arises in the most common scenarios. This podcast will highlight the stark differences between the two forms of communication, focusing on the mindset that lies beneath your chosen manner of interaction.
How Not to Deny Flaws Others Clearly See
Season 1, Episode 26
This podcast will examine some of the behind-the-scenes tension that inhibits individuals from admitting wrongs, exploring also how this tendency can be remedied.
Stubbornness Leading to Interpersonal Ruin
Season 1, Episode 25
Some individuals pride themselves (in a good way) for their willingness to receive input, making adjustments that will benefit those they relate with. Those same people can feel baffled when they encounter others who absolutely will not budge or make necessary adjustments.
The Illusion Of Being In Control
Season 1, Episode 24
One of the most common problems in marriage and family discussions is the tendency to approach differences with an unbending agenda. This leads to what might be called imperative communication.
Why Accusing Queries Don’t Work
Season 1, Episode 21
Confrontations are part of any ongoing close relationship. It can actually be good to air out differences as a means of keeping a clean slate. Some people, however, confront by asking questions that accuse, shame, or embarrass the recipient.
The Slick Manipulator Who Eats You When You Least Expect It
Season 1, Episode 18
The Futility Of Being Threatened By Differences
Season 1, Episode 15
Choosing to Coordinate When It Doesn’t Feel Natural
Season 1, Episode 12
Your Deceptions Will Do You in
Season 1, Episode 11
The Clean-Cut Way to Handle Frustrations
Season 1, Episode 1